I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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