my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Randomize
