It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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