It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
