I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
i believe in u and ur pee
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