If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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