so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
