I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
