If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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