the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
