he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
