My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
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