Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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