Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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