i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
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