coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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