dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
