STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
