I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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