i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
