Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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