seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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