my mouth tastes like poor choices
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
