this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
