In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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