Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I love you.
Bad choice
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
