Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
