so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
