I only kidnapped one of them. chill
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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