I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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