i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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