Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Be still, my beating vagina.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Randomize
