I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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