I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
