last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
