as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
we're so committed to being not committed
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