I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
