just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
