we're blogging at a bar
Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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