I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
