Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
