Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
