You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
