Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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