you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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