wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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