I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
