I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
