Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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