I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
